Abby's Halloween Crisis
by Little Knuckles
Summary: Written by my sister "the General"


Abby's Halloween Crisis

This story takes place in Abby's lab...

Abby: McGee, have you seen my watch?

McGee: Which watch?

Abby: Right.

McGee: Right what?

Abby: You said "witch watch" and I said "right."

McGee: Hold on a minute one of us is crazy and it's not you... I said "which watch"... whatever ... let's start over... are you trying to ask me something?

Abby: Yes, McGee...I bought a watch with a witch face on the dial, you know, to wear for Halloween... a witch watch...and now it's missing!

McGee: How can it be missing? Didn't you strap it on to your wrist?

Abby: Duh...yeah.

McGee: Which wrist?

Abby: My left wrist.

McGee: Your left wrist?

Abby: Right.

McGee: Oh, your right wrist.

Abby: Wrong!...Oh McGee, I'm so upset. I had the witch watch on my right wrist but it started to twist and that made my wrist itch so I made the switch to my left wrist. Don't you understand anything?

McGee: I get the jist. Your new witch watch is missing...was that so hard? Anyhow even though there are no impaled sailors or marines laying around, I think this is a job for NCIS. I'll open a file and notify the team. When did you notice that the witch watch was missing?

Abby: I DON'T KNOW WHEN, McGEE! MY WATCH IS MISSING!

McGee: The team should be here soon so let's get started...We're very cutting edge here at NCIS... Clues, evidence.. has to be here somewhere. I got it, we'll fold you up and squish you inside your mass spectrometer... that's bound to help us solve the case... it does in all our other episodes! And while  
you're in there, I'll stare pensively at the over-sized computer screen while keyboarding swiftly and randomly like: kduro foo tggaslfjne7ty908p2r[kgid fkt9g8boogie-woogie [3rhm ickyboo98-935[k[yqtmiym-yo[pp]

Abby: Good idea...but before you squish me into the M.S. I'll call Gibbs down... but he'll already be here so let's get Tony into the mix.

McGee: I'll have Gibbs head slap him a few times to knock some sense into him and we'll have Ziva throw a knife or two in your general direction... that always seems to help.

Gibbs: Listen up... we've got 45 minutes to wrap this case up... 60 minutes if you count commercial breaks. Does anyone know how to cue up the opening credits and our dramatic theme song?

Jimmy: No, but I can hum the song with a very serious expression... will that work?

Gibbs: Forget it... the viewers know the song by heart and they certainly know who WE are... just skip it and let's get to work. Grab your gear!

Ziva: Where is it that we are supposed to go? I do not think that the witch watch is outside of this lab.

Gibbs: Oh yeah... sorry... oops... don't apologize.. I'll head slap myself for being ignorant.

Tony: Good call, Boss.

Gibbs: Shut up...*SLAP* Hey Ducky, what are you doing here... we don't have any bodies for you to fillet open...

Ducky: Ahhh, Jethro, did I ever tell you about the time that I enjoyed the company of the Duke of Ellington... it was at his country estate of Highbrow... we had tea... it was 1971 or was that 72? He had a most unique pocket watch... made in Paris, I believe... probably around the turn of the century and...

Everyone: YAWN

Gibbs: Before we start this scene, we need that annoying noise that D.B. came up with to "bookend" the plot changes. Anybody got any ideas?

Abby: Well if you're looking for something unusual, Bert is willing to help.

Gibbs: Go for it.

Bert: Put-put-put-pppffffttttt!

Ziva: This is insane. I do not think that it is right for Abby to decide what is considered an unusual sound. She is clearly impaired... she is upset and she is talking funny. Do you not agree, Jimmy? I think that it may be related to over exposure to super glue fumes.

Jimmy: That could be so... I just don't know... oops, I stubbed my toe... I don't make enough dough...want to go see a show? This job sure does blow!

Ziva: Can you see what I am meaning? May we super glue his mouth shut and tie him to a chair?

Gibbs: Everyone! Knock it off! Can't you see that Abby is upset and afraid? Abs, before we put you in the mass spectrometer, let's spend some reassuring time in the elevator. I will embrace you in a fatherly sort of way while I fantasize about you in your Marilyn Monroe get-up.

Abby: Well, I am scared Gibbsy... I used to call you my silver fox but I get the idea that you're more of a Big Bad Wolf... hee hee.

Tony: Boy for a Halloween episode this isn't very scary... we've got a missing witch watch, a subplot of speaking impaired scientists and a Big Bad Wolf. The scariest thing around here is Gibbs' haircut! Looks like had it done in a Magic Bullet! (registered trademark)

Abby: Gibbs, Gibbs... oh yeah... Gibbs! I was taking off my lab coat before joining you in the elevator... Look what I found in my pocket! My witch watch! Yippee!

Everyone: Yeah! Looks like this case is a wrap.

Bert: put-put-put-pppppfffffttttt!

Gibbs: D'ya think?

A/N: With apologies to the Marx Brothers, the Three Stooges, Abbott and Costello...


End file.
